Tuesday, July 11, 2006 @7:53 PM
YO!...what's up with your lives? Haha..thanks for all those who posed tags on my blog..thanks a million it really means alot that you all said what you said and it has really helped me to feel lots better..hhaa..since i have nothing of really importance today i shall delve abit into why i was feeling so horrible. To be totally honest with you, it boiled down to 2 simple things...not feeling appreciated for what i have been doing and also the fact that i have not been able to make a difference in ppl's lives. First, i guess it was from the devil and all, but i felt that i was not being appreciated by the ppl in my life. I felt like i was this lackey that they could and would order around at will. But when i asked of them things they would just diss me and all...haha...but i realised that all this was the work of the devil!!!! oh well, not me actually but someone pointed it out and i am thankful. Cause you think abt it, friends should do things for friends out of the kindness of one's heart and not because of the need for gratification...so oh well, one shouldnt be so calculative and all...haha...Second, i felt that i wasnt making a difference in ppl's lives at all..in fact i was making it worst..this was kinda guilt tripping me...you all know the song u raise me up..."When i am down and oh my soul so weary, when troubles come and my heart burdened be, when i am still and wait here in the silence, until you come and sit awhile with meyou raise me up so i can stand on mountains, you raise me up to walk on stormy seasi am strong when i am on your shoulders, you raise me up to more then i can be."yah anyway the thing was i wished i had made a difference in someone's life to the extent that i would be the person to raise him or her up. but i realised at that time that i was just not good enough..ahah...but ytd, thanks to a close friend, i got a msg from god. It doesnt matter if i think that i have not made a difference in someone's life, it is up to god to decide. He has, through me, done his work. I have become a vessel to spread the word of god to others...i have, because of him, given others the gift of eternal life..something that no one or no thing can every measure up. Fifty, sixty, seventy years from now when i look back i can proudly say i have made a difference, i have helped one more into the kingdom of god..thanks god for that revelation and thanks to my friend who was there for me when i needed it most and for your undying support..thanks...God also taught me one impt lesson. It matters not if the ppl of this world do not appreciate u or show that you mean anything to them, because all that matters is that god appreciates you , god acknowledges you and appreciates you. I know this is DEFINATELY 100% true..why you may say...cause if god didnt think i meant anything to him would he send his only begotten son to die on the cross(most horrible death known at that time) for me? And ytd i felt that god was saying to me, "son i know what you are going through and i just want to thank you for doing my will...it is hard but perserve u must...you are weary come and rest with me..but see what a diff you have made in someone's life.." that is the most impt validation in the universe and i feel is the thing that rejuvenated my soul...Now i feel ready to go on with choir and my life..who care what the world thinks, who cares what my enemies think...god put me in choir for a reason and that is to spread his love and compassion through his music and make this world a better place...as for the ppl whose lives i have been thrusted into, maybe i may cause you the most pain or trouble but one thing is for sure god has his purpose in that and you just have to stick to it...so to all those out there who feel tired of giving and giving..here's my advice to you..have faith and believe that god will make a way even when there seems to be no way...i forgot that and it took a new believer to remind me of that...shows you how god can work in the most miraculous of ways...Can't wait for choir to start...un dieu benissent toujoursmay god bless you always...
