My best performance yet....even for me...made my personal assistant disappear...

the one who truly cared abt me..
lost ,for hours at least, to my egocentricity
i deserved it
all of it
he gave his all,
i just dreamt of taking and demanding more
Why?
i dont know...
hate is such a strong word...
sorry is the most useless word in the english language,
promises much but delievers little

he tried to understand my pain,
he tried to feel my grief,
he tried to be the best friend he could ever be
but all i asked was more and more,
without thinking, without feeling
i feel humanity slipping
my soul breaking..
i cannot curb that which is my inate nature
try as i might
but i would do anything to get his trust back,
a bad friend?
maybe...
all i can do is hope..
retribution i guess for all those i have wronged
punishment for all those i have hurt..
god's way of saying something...
forgiveness is the best i hope for..
nothing more...nothing less...

church...an afternoon to rmb...work...

Went to church today...tried hard to listen but i guess was a wee bit preoccupied...haiz...but then i did listen abit k? know it is not enough k...i know it was abt the apocalyse....haha...went with JK and GW so was kinda cool..but then super distracting...and we ended up talking..(shame on us) hah...guess that's the bane of having good company...

sometimes, actually when you think too much there is a price to pay for that..i mean in terms of the sleep lost and all that...but i guess this afternoon kinda cleared it up...really...i guess what was needed was just a good sit down and a conversation...i guess ppl do read my blog...a few asked me abt my previous post...my ans...hmm...dont think i can say...no i mean i know cant say...hmm..

sometimes i have this tendency to shoot my mouth off and say something i'll totally regret later on..but then again..hey i am not perfect and am totally tryin to change...REALLY..i am ok..

my post are getting shorter cause i am running of brain juice to go around so forgive me...i think hor studying...(not much of it) has depleted me stock...oh well...life sucks boo hoo...

NICe song...butterfly kisses....so going to use it for my wedding,...where would it be...hmm..wouldnt you all like to know...oh well...dont worry i'll invite you...or not...just hope...wish you all have fun....

un dieu benissent toujours
may god bless you always...

......

life's just that...
parallels drawn..
the coincidences are frightening obivious.....
not that i am not having faith in you.........
just finding it hard to trust myself.......
what's wrong..?
do tell me...
just looking for arms which i can fall into.........
a promise that i just cant keep.......
dreams haunt my sleep....
smells remind me, all the time......
most importantly..
how do you feel abt it.....
i need confirmation...
silliness is not synomynous with me.......
but there is a first for everything.......
honesty was nvr one of my strengths.......
but for this once, i mean it......
i know i am a bother.....
but, i need one to lean on more then ever..........
now.
chance to clear it up......
not there..
not your fault...
circumstances dictated..
a prayer said...
a wish..
a hope..
empty?
hopefully not..

un dieu benissent toujours...
may god bless you always

Sometimes it's all abt perspective....

hi...sorry havent blogged in...hmm...a few day..ahah..but recently have been really busy..not mugging but more like super sian haha..so think i am going to fail my exams ...oh well..haha..anyway...recently god has changed my perspective of life..it is really surprising how a single event can change the complexity of a relationship, be it good or bad-truth is it either assentuates the differences or , in my case, make our similarities seem all the more obvious..haha...too much said already...haha..wish me luck for exams...

anyway...here's a beautiful poem titled simply

"ten tears"

when i cry my ten tears during the day
wishing things went a different way
i think of the one person who ever cared
and the one person who was always there
and one less teardrop fell from my face

when im thinking of those 9 tears i still had to cry
and all i did was sat there and questioned why
i thought of that day when you held my hand
and when you told me all the time that to you i was grand
one less teardrop fell from my eye

when i squatted down real low and an 8th tear fell
and all i could think about was how my life was in hell
i thought of how you would tell me to stay strong
and i thought of how much i've loved you all along
one less teardrop fell from my nose

when i lied on my bed and 7 tears poured out
and all i could do was scream and shout
i thought of how you were always by my side
helping me, holding me close, along for the ride
and one less teardrop fell from my lip

when i cried my 6 tears at night
and everything consumed me and i was consumed with fright
i looked at your picture and smiled real big
thinking of how i joked with you, calling you a pig
one less teardrop fell from my chin

when i was running and tripped my 5 tears started to fall
and you told me it was okay and you gave me your all
i looked at you and knew i was going to be okay
not by what your face said but the things you always used to say
one less teardrop fell from my ear

when i was getting yelled at and 4 tears begun to fall on the floor
and when my parents slapped me and i ran for the door
i stopped and thought how you loved me so much
and how you helped me up like a crutch
one less teardrop fell from my hair

3 tears fell as i was getting made fun of right in my face
and i felt as if i had no one to love in this place
i cowered and thought of you and i
and how we shared tears together, how we cried
one less teardrop fell from my peachy red cheek

2 tears fell as if gravity took over me
hoping, wishing and thinking i would never be happy
i just sat and thought how much i loved you so
and how much i would never want to let you go
one less teardrop fell from my flesh

1 more tear fell as i thought of my family
and all the wonderful things we could have had
i thought of how you would give me your life
just to take away my pain and my strife
no more teardrops fell from my eye...

it is the most beautiful poem i've ever read,bar none...and written my dearest friend and brother, gw... i'm not like some ppl who just place it on their blog and not acknowledge the author....haha....but get through it...brings tears to my eyes everytime...

hope you'll enjoy it...

un dieu benissent toujours
may god bless ya always....

Sometimes it's all abt perspective....

hi...sorry havent blogged in...hmm...a few day..ahah..but recently have been really busy..not mugging but more like super sian haha..so think i am going to fail my exams ...oh well..haha..anyway...recently god has changed my perspective of life..it is really surprising how a single event can change the complexity of a relationship, be it good or bad-truth is it either assentuates the differences or , in my case, make our similarities seem all the more obvious..haha...too much said already...haha..wish me luck for exams...

anyway...here's a beautiful poem titled simply

"ten tears"

when i cry my ten tears during the day
wishing things went a different way
i think of the one person who ever cared
and the one person who was always there
and one less teardrop fell from my face

when im thinking of those 9 tears i still had to cry
and all i did was sat there and questioned why
i thought of that day when you held my hand
and when you told me all the time that to you i was grand
one less teardrop fell from my eye

when i squatted down real low and an 8th tear fell
and all i could think about was how my life was in hell
i thought of how you would tell me to stay strong
and i thought of how much i've loved you all along
one less teardrop fell from my nose

when i lied on my bed and 7 tears poured out
and all i could do was scream and shout
i thought of how you were always by my side
helping me, holding me close, along for the ride
and one less teardrop fell from my lip

when i cried my 6 tears at night
and everything consumed me and i was consumed with fright
i looked at your picture and smiled real big
thinking of how i joked with you, calling you a pig
one less teardrop fell from my chin

when i was running and tripped my 5 tears started to fall
and you told me it was okay and you gave me your all
i looked at you and knew i was going to be okay
not by what your face said but the things you always used to say
one less teardrop fell from my ear

when i was getting yelled at and 4 tears begun to fall on the floor
and when my parents slapped me and i ran for the door
i stopped and thought how you loved me so much
and how you helped me up like a crutch
one less teardrop fell from my hair

3 tears fell as i was getting made fun of right in my face
and i felt as if i had no one to love in this place
i cowered and thought of you and i
and how we shared tears together, how we cried
one less teardrop fell from my peachy red cheek

2 tears fell as if gravity took over me
hoping, wishing and thinking i would never be happy
i just sat and thought how much i loved you so
and how much i would never want to let you go
one less teardrop fell from my flesh

1 more tear fell as i thought of my family
and all the wonderful things we could have had
i thought of how you would give me your life
just to take away my pain and my strife
no more teardrops fell from my eye...

it is the most beautiful poem i've ever read,bar none...and written my dearest friend and brother, gw... i'm not like some ppl who just place it on their blog and not acknowledge the author....haha....but get through it...brings tears to my eyes everytime...

hope you'll enjoy it...

un dieu benissent toujours
may god bless ya always....

A conclusion is near....faith is the key....

The lord will provide...somehow...
the grey skies are giving way to a bright tommorrow...
where we'll walk in fields of gold...

keep you in my prayers....always...hang in there...

un dieu benissent toujours
may god bless you always...

Tired....hungry....but its all worth it....i hope...miracles do happen....

In his time, in his time.
he makes all things beautiful in his time..

wise words...pray that the lord will help my bro....pls....

there can be miracles when you believe...

un dieu benissent toujours
may god bless you always...

ponning school...again..choir's not bad...really not bad at all...

hmm....shant start with yo yo but hey...its been kinda dreary staying home and studying...i mean the truth is although i get tons more work done..have more time to play and rest, i feel so super sian because of a lack of human interaction. I suppose it is like the Gp passage which i did ytd, going to work(or in me case school) is good because you get an opportunity to see your friends..now the only ppl i see are...hmmm...NOBODY..some surprise there huh..my case hasnt exactly been helped by a certain someone who jsut loves calling ppl up and make a enormous fuss over absolutely nothing at ALLL....like execuse me what is your bloody problem, i mean you should get a life instead of wastign your and my time making stupid phone calls that will only serve to irritate ppl...i cant belive i even thought you were once nice...just take taht stupid one mark, not like i need it, it wont make a diff...nobody likes the way you teach you boring old coot, just cant believe it...always say we are late for this and that and spend 2x the time nagging so wth, just leave me alone...feel like telling you striaght up and say that i dont need you, waster of my time...think that everything you all come up is the best huh...just go get a life or something...

The only respite from all this madness is choir i guess....haha...surpirise surprise..but then again i have no life rmb...(you can stop me anytime now and start showering me with praise..haha) No lah, i seriously think that going back and seeing all you guys singing great songs is really cool..it has been such a large part of me life that i dont want it to ever end...ever..so i guess that's why i am so extra for going back...oh well...hehe..its going to be my as much as yours so live with it...hahaah...but honestly, i have to admit that i was a tad skeptical abt the sound when i first came in, didnt really know what to expect..but boy was i surprised...i dont praise many things is life so savour it..haha..but i really think that the sound is really good..better then my batch or the one before..really good..i guess if you guys continue to improve at this rate, success will naturally folllow..of course that being said, material goals should not be our sole purpose for music..hehe...but whatever the case i wish you guys all the best, its your choir to control and more importantly have fun with...the time will fly and before you know it, you'll most prob be feeling the way i do...hehe...so treasure all the times you had with ppl and all...it will be fun will it lasts...

I guess recently i have got into debates over lives truths..kinda anyway...but i am not really the best person to debate with cause i am like have this typical debator mentality which is to verbally anilhilate the opposition, which i have done abit too well recently, arguments with me 99% of the time end up with the other person becoming totally confused with themselves or just end up in tears, neither are really good options..so hey but then i guess it is true this kinds of debates that we learn more about each other..however that makes sense...anyway one of the arguments was that i have always believed that if you want something bad enough you will go all out for it...there is not shortcut even if you have talent...i dare say my singing has improved because i have spent so much time and effort practicing, to become better you often have to go above the expected quota, only if you are willing to that can you eliminate any disadvantage you may have...that's the only way...mistakes are inevitable but then again so what, as long as you are still alive you know you have another chance to improve on it...haha...but then this argument was cut short..hehe..just as well it was cause the outcome wasnt exactly going to be pretty...hehe...

Finally, today i have decided to write in a sort of partial prose form which baffles me...however taht makes sense, should have topic sentences huh..anyhow, the thing is that consumed by my immense boredom and mundane lifestyle i have put together something..may not be much but hey, who says i have alot of time...not realy impt...but understand it you will not unless....

sepolto in profondità all'interno di cuore thy si trova un segreto profondo
spaventoso ma reale
menzogne sopra ogni notte
esso tane mio..
ma infine,
felice giusto i ha potuto ripartirsi la mia difficoltà con voi

Realised the the translator wont exactly give you the meaning so heeh...i guess only smart ppl will figure out what i have to say..just love speaking in codes, makes me feel so, how shall i say it, cool...dont know lah...but what ever this period of exams has really taken its toll on me, cant imagine a more horrible time, haha..just cant wait for it to be over...mixed feelings, after the exams those summer days will be over and all that is left are memories, nothing more...haiz..whatever..but then i rmb once telling a this person that we should just treasure whatever we have left and the rest is left to god, haha..easier said then done my bro, easier said then done...hahah..the past is something i want to hold on forever...but one thing is for certain..i'll rmb you when the west winds move among the fields of barley....that i promise...forever...

to JK, my di, jem and joey, i am NOT like the person, never.........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hope i dont step on toes...especially the big one...if i did..sorry...

un dieu benissent toujours
may god bless you always..

New blogskin...new begining???

haha...yi qin, see i nvr start with yo yo anymore...from today onwards i shall inject variety into my entries...haha..or not..haha...just wanted to inaguarate the opening of my new blogskin and all...

today was quite silly day for me..had phy tuition in the morn which when really fast...me tutor told me something which no one has ever told me b4, which is to not work so hard..pace my self..haha..kinda shocking i guess..hehe...anyway..the day when on and i had like jap food for dinner...haha...super cool...quite nice..but then the haze was omg...so terrible...they should cancel school..haha..that would be nice..

k lah...enough said...just like to thank my di for helping me set up this new blog skin..hah..thanks=))

un dieu benissent toujours
may god bless you always..

real slack..ponning school and walking in fields of gold

yoyo...haha...today i missed school again..haha..but then again today wasnt really productive ahah....but i think i managed to get more done then if i was in school...managed to finish 2 chapters of math which i was having a little difficulty with..and also one paper one for maths..but i tell you i feel that i am getting a little burnt out for math..hahaha...then again..seeing as i am so lazy what is there to burn out from...hahaah...who cares..see where god takes me i guess...

i feel that school is an institute where learnign should take place and we should nvr forget that..but the thing is when learning becomes more difficult in school then i think there isnt really much purpose in going to school..i mean honestly...i would rather stay home and go for tuition so as to do better ....haiz..whatever that meant..but then i feel school sucks anyway....hahaah...contraversial but deal with it...

found this song...it is one of my favourite songs...forgot abt it for a while until i stumbled upon it ytd..cant rmb how...but its a real beautiful song.kind of like after we all grow up and gone our seperate ways..we think back on all those beautiful memories of spending days frolicking in the meadows..without a worry in the world..abt how we just had fun then..i guess this is a song that is so apt for me considering that i am like nearing the end of childhood...hahaah..anyway..beautiful song taht always stirs up emotions in me...feel really nostalgic when ever i hear it...amazing song...when you listen to those words you can almost picture it in your head(at least i can, for all those with lesser intellect that's jsut too bad..)

Fields of Gold
by Eva Cassidy..

You'll remember me when the west wind moves
Upon the fields of barley
You'll forget the sun in his jealous sky
As we walk in fields of gold

So she took her love
For to gaze awhile
Upon the fields of barley
In his arms she fell as her hair came down
Among the fields of gold

Will you stay with me, will you be my love
Among the fields of barley
We'll forget the sun in his jealous sky
As we lie in fields of gold

See the west wind move like a lover so
Upon the fields of barley
Feel her body rise when you kiss her mouth
Among the fields of gold

I never made promises lightly
And there have been some that I've broken
But I swear in the days still left
We'll walk in fields of gold
We'll walk in fields of gold

Many years have passed since those summer days
Among the fields of barley
See the children run as the sun goes down
Among the fields of gold

You'll remember me when the west wind moves
Upon the fields of barley
You can tell the sun in his jealous sky
When we walked in fields of gold
When we walked in fields of gold
When we walked in fields of gold

hey no matter where life's roads take us..whether our paths will cross again..or not...we'll always have these memories of this amazing times...i guess the words alone cannot do justice to the song..coupled with then melody i think you all will find it amazingly simple, subtle and powerful...that's just it...life is really too short to be wasted on silly things...i guess the truth is that as time passes many friends will become mere pictures in the hallways of our lives..but there will be those special few i'll never forget till the day i die...maybe we wont ever meet again but the truth is that no matter how far apart life takes us..i'll always be thinking of you and...rmb..the times where we walked in fields of gold....

un dieu benissent toujours
may god bless you always...

too busy to even come online...haha..cant believe it...god's grace is has never been more obvious

yo yo...ppl of the world..haha...been quite busy these few days..haha....oh well..sucks..but havent really done much..not by my standards anyway..but then again who cares huh...

anyway..god's grace has really manifested itself these few days..i cant say how greatful i am for all the help and guidance that the lord has given me...he has shown me that he can and will help even those who are not "christians" so to speak...but he has opened many new doors and opportunities for me to enter and spread the word...that has been so amazing...

Cant say that the pressure of the As are not getting to me...sometimes i feel real tired and sian...but i have to press on...haah,....god give me strength...and i know this is a little late but good luck all for your promos...sure you all can do well and next year we'll see you as J2s...haha...

un dieu benissent toujours
may god bless you always...

shaun lee
rosyth
zhss
ajc
ajchoir
psalm 27:4

let my heartbeat be my heart's cry let me live to serve your call
in my life, Your will be done


.agnessa
.aloysius
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.chinguan
.christabel
.gerald
.jeremy
.joey
.joseph
.peiyong
.qingwen
.saffie
.xianhui
.yingtong
.yuklum
.zhanyong
.zhengkai






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